"Stop Eating Garbage and Get Off Your Ass"

“Some really motivating quote about working out and how amazing you will feel after you do it.”

I hate working out. Like I really hate it. If I'm doing the shred DVD, my husband is banished to his office and  can’t  watch me. If I'm outside running and someone in their yard or driving by stares at my ass huffing and puffing…I stop, stare them down until they feel miserably uncomfortable, then keep going.

I don't understand how, after losing over 60 lbs., that I have managed to become even MORE self-conscious/insecure about my body. How did that mess happen? The only reasoning I can think of is that when I was fat, I didn't really know how fat I was until my stomach ballooned over a desk when I sat down in class one day...and now, well, I'm not fat and I examine every single physical flaw that I can find until I'm all down in the dumps. I'm working on it though. It's a big adjustment, physically, mentally and emotionally. I thank God every single day for my husband and how much he lifts me up and motivates me. I love that man.

Okay, so the million dollar question: “How do you get yourself to work out when you are already so self-conscious to even look in the mirror naked and physically unable to do much?” I know…that’s a tough thing to ask yourself when those are the things you are feeling.

I didn’t have it in me to join a gym. All of those beautiful people looking at the girl on the treadmill who stays 15 minutes and is about to pass out? No, thanks. I’ll pass on that. As a matter of fact, I still don’t go to a gym and I don’t know that I ever will…not my kind of atmosphere. If, however, you do enjoy going to a gym, go for it! This is just what happened to work for me. I came across these two photos, separately, on Pinterest this weekend and it really shocked me. 

I know that my body looks way more like the woman on the left, and compared to the other, I thought "thank God". Then, without hesitation, I found this other photo and decided to lighten up my mood.

Once I had my eating under control by using Weight Watchers, I knew that I was going to have to do something physical to continue losing weight. I knew that I wasn’t joining a gym, I couldn’t handle walking quickly across campus without losing my breath so I didn’t think I could get through the popular work out DVD’s at the time and I’m not really one for working out with others. I know, I know…other people keep you accountable, motivate you, etc. etc. I needed and wanted to do this on my own…so I did. Each evening after class I would come home, get homework/housework done, etc. Then as soon as it started to get cool, off I went. I started walking around my apartment complex. In the beginning, that’s all I did. Some days I could walk half an hour, others I only lasted 15-20 minutes. But that alone helped jumpstart my body into a routine. I really enjoyed walking before I ate dinner. It made my evening feel a little rushed, but if I ate before I walked, I felt so full and there was a very good chance of my couch winning my ass instead of my Aasics (another post soon about my absolute favorite shoes, running/work out tops, shorts, pants, etc. and headbands).

So that’s what I did. After about a month, I started to really notice some results and saw that I was able to walk a little more/faster each day. That alone was a  huge triumph. The first time you start to feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel, capitalize on that feeling and RUN WITH IT (pun intended). I bought a scale. While I 100% believe that everyone is built differently and the numbers on a scale having nothing on how a person feels when losing weight. However, it IS a great way to keep accountable and see, in numbers, your loss each week. I weighed myself once a week, first thing in the morning, after I went to the bathroom, naked. I wrote the # down on a post-it and stuck it on my mirror. It was wonderful taking that post-it down each week and replacing it with a lower number.

I continued to follow this routine at least 5-6 days a week. If I knew I was unable to work out a day, I would be very conscious about what I ate, knowing I wouldn’t have a chance to work it off. Once I realized I was really getting good walks in, I started to bump it up a notch. I wanted to jog. So I did. I would always, and still do to this day, walk 1 mile before attempting to jog. After I warmed up, the cycle was: jog until I thought I was going to die, walk until I could breathe again, jog until I thought I was going to die, walk until I could breathe again…that’s it. I would blast my playlist from my iPod so loud and think about anything I could to make myself keep going (post about my favorite songs to work out to coming soon). It got so much easier from that point on. It really did. I began to do very simple arm workouts at home with a set of 3 lb. free weights from Target. After I got better with those, I used 5 lb. free weights. I still use the same weights a few times a week. Those are my favorite workout days because I can sit in front of the TV while getting them done…yes, still a fat chick at heart! A whole different blog post will have to come later about what I do now to essentially maintain my weight/physical activity…it’s just so much different than when I began.

I know that so much of this may not be doable for a lot of you that have children. I wish I could offer alternatives or ways to get around what I did, but I just don’t know where you’re coming from yet so I don’t have anything to go on. This is what happened to work for me and I just happened to be a single college girl when I started this process. Maybe before too long I’ll be able to tell everyone what I did to lose weight after a pregnancy!!! That would be awesome…to be able to blog about my pregnancy, then about how I lost the weight as it happens! Love it.

I am so proud to say that I can now run about 4-5 miles. Do I now think running and working out are magical activities and enter races for fun? Hell no. I think it’s amazing that there are people out there that consider 5 miles a “short run”…well, for me, it’s because I ate some doughnuts that morning and know what I need to do.

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. I got to spend some relaxing time with my family and friends while my husband hunted and today we cleaned the mess (quite literally) out of our house! I love a clean house. Thank you so much for reading, here are some pics:

 This was the view running yesterday morning. I loved growing up in the country!

And here I am with my Lola girl after my run.

Lazy dogs... 

Lola is the best with kids. This is my friends little wild child, Eli. He's so much fun.

And this is my brother with his dog, Ro. 

Wow, those are all pictures of dogs...slightly obsessed.