"I'll Start Tomorrow..."

How many of you have said that to yourselves about exercising? "I'll start tomorrow." Then tomorrow becomes Monday, then Monday becomes next weekend and so on and so forth. It's a vicious cycle that has the potential to consume you. Let me tell you a little something...one day, you will run out of "tomorrows" and there won't be any time left. I know that's brutal, but it really is the truth.

I knew I had to start getting physical when I started feeling extremely uncomfortable in different circumstances that used to be so ordinary and mindless. For example, I would drive around the parking lot until I found the absolute closest spot. It gave me anxiety to think about walking from a far away spot and sweating/breathing hard when I got to the entrance to wherever it was I was going. I absolutely hated going to class because I truly felt squished in the seats/desks. I would avoid outdoor gatherings like the plague...no way was I going to stand out in the heat with my already-too-tight clothes that would just become more tight with the heat. To put it simply, I was miserable. I think of this quote often: "Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice."

How meaningful is that quote? We can blame people, life events, certain moments in time, etc. but the God honest truth is, we have a choice in how we live. Simple as that. Right? RIGHT? Well, as simple as it may sound, I know far too well how difficult it can be to make the right choice when it comes to taking care of my body. I couldn't handle it anymore. I hit my breaking point. I wasn't dating...at all. My friends stopped asking me to go out because I always said no. I had nothing to wear. I felt physically and emotionally disgusting. I felt like my life was a wreck. I kind of felt like this:

So basically, I reacted in a way that I think would have made Liz Taylor proud. I poured myself some water, put on some jogging shorts, and began to attempt to pull myself together. That was the best and worst time in my weight loss journey. In the beginning, if I could walk outside or on a treadmill for 20 minutes, I felt extremely accomplished. And to be quiet honest, I am still proud when I get 20 minutes of physical activity in for a day. My main goal in all this was and always will be to just. feel. better. I have NO desire to run a marathon, or even just a 5K. I think it's GREAT if that is your goal, I just know it's not mine. I think it's okay to have a goal to just feel better. There is nothing wrong with being able to run 13 miles, but I don't feel any less about myself and my progress because I don't have the desire to do that.

So, there I was-200+ pounds and needing to exercise. My goal was to just do something everyday. That something for me ended up being walking around my apartment complex. I walked until I was too tired to walk or until I was too hot and sweaty to go on. I did this for weeks and weeks. I just kept walking. When I finally started seeing results, I  knew I needed to keep going. At this point, I decided to see if I could jog. I could...for a very short period of time. So, that's how it went. I would walk to warm up about 5 minutes. Then I would jog. I would jog for a little while until I thought I was going to pass out or die. Then I would walk again. When my legs didn't feel like noodles, I would stop walking and try to jog again. And that's how it happened. And that's how I still love to workout to this day. I love going on a 2-3 mile run. I really do. But I also still walk when I get tired. When I feel better, I run again. I love this method. See that sweat ring?! I earned that sucker.

Well, there you have it. That's what I did to get started. Weight Watchers-1st. Weight Watchers+Some Physical Activity-2nd. It seemed that once I made the decision to change, I was unstoppable. I firmly, wholeheartedly believe that something has to "snap" within someone in order for them to be successful with weight loss. Has that something snapped in you yet? Are you looking to jump start it? Take a moment and think about how you feel. Are you happy and comfortable with where your life is? If you are not happy or find yourself yearning to be happy but think it's out of reach, read my story. I felt so helpless. I did it, though. I turned my life around and now, making good eating and exercise choices is second nature to me. Think about WHY you want to lose weight. What are your reasons? Here are a few of mine:

I want to keep being able to wear jeans that I am proud to buy, not ashamed. I want to be a super cute pregnant girl like my cousins in that middle picture. I want to be healthy and be able to run and play and do things with my future kids. I want to keep hearing my husband say that he has a hot wife. These things will continue to help me reach my goal and will help me maintain that goal once I reach it.

I beg you to start today. Go walk around the block just one time. It's something. Just start doing something. You will be so glad you did. I start my warm-up walk to this song every time: "Shot in the Dark" by Augustana. The chorus says "I'm rising up slowly, and getting higher. I've been living with a hole in my heart weighing down on me, but I'm a fighter. I know I've still got a shot in the dark." You still have a shot!

Think back to that quote: "Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." Make the choice.