My Husband.

Warning: This may get mushy. Read at your own risk. I love my husband a great deal. He has the ability to royally piss me off, sweep me off my feet and baffle the mess out of me in a matter of minutes. He is one cute piece of man though:

As I'm sure you know, I am a member of the MLFC page on Facebook. Now, I think it's totally fine for people to post whatever the heck they want on that page. If you don't like it or don't want to read it, scroll on by. No big deal. That being said-I see so many posts about spouses and negative issues that women are dealing with in terms of husbands, partners, boyfriends, men, etc. I feel deeply for those women and I know they deserve more. Those posts also make me feel beyond grateful for my husband, Raymond.

 We met in 2008. It was my senior year of college and I was the maid of honor in my roommate's wedding. He was the groom's best man. We had never met. We lived down the street from each other all throughout college. Our close friends, Katie and Jordan, were set up on a blind date that eventually led to marriage a few years later. At the time of their wedding, I drove down to Corpus Christi to stay with Katie and help do some things for the wedding weekend. Raymond was hanging out with Jordan and helping tie up loose ends as well. We officially met at the wedding rehearsal. We practiced walking back down the aisle together and at the end, he shook my hand and said, "by the way, I'm Raymond." Katie and Jordan looked at each other and both said "what? you've never met each other?!" NOPE! Raymond had been dating someone and I thought I was too fat for him anyway. This is me the weekend we met at the wedding:

I'm not sure of my weight. I just know that my self esteem level was terrible. Anyway, we flirted and had some laughs at the rehearsal dinner and he went to hang out with Jordan and I went with Katie for the night before the wedding. That night, I got a text message out of the blue that said "hey lady". That's it. I knew it was him. Sneaky little stalker found my number somehow. And I am so glad that he did. We texted a little bit that night and I was so excited to see him the next day for the wedding. We had so much fun at the wedding. We danced and talked. My mom was there so he got to meet her-so soon, I know, but I couldn't just tell her no...you know mothers...and mine is a doozie (in a good way). I kid you not-I caught the bride's bouquet that night and he caught the groom's garter. I KNOW, RIGHT?! Totally meant to be. After the bride and groom said their goodbye's we went with a group of friends to a local bar and played pool. We weren't ready to call it a night so we went for a walk on the beach-so romantic! We held hands, talked about our families and all that getting to know you jazz. He walked me back to my hotel, kissed me on the forehead and went on his way. Perfect gentleman. I loved every second of it. You can roll your eyes to the ceiling and back to the ground again after reading this, but I knew that night he would be mine forever. I was so right. 

I knew how I felt about him, and I also knew how I felt about myself. How he was attracted to me, I hadn't a clue. I knew I needed to get my shit together and feel better about myself if I was ever going to get a ring on it. So, that's when it really started. I worked hard to lose weight that summer. It wasn't just for him-but I'd be lying if I said he wasn't the main motivator to get my ass in gear. And I think that's okay. He fell for me exactly the way I was-chunky monkey and all. I love him so much for that. 

We started dating while I was in College Station and he was still in Corpus for the summer. He would come visit me and I would come to Corpus to see him. He took me camping for my birthday with Katie and Jordan. I DO NOT CAMP. But, how could I say no to the guy that I was crazy about and the relationship was still SO new?! So, I went along with it. Here are some pics from that weekend:

I pretty much didn't eat carbs ALL summer long and worked out every. single. day. It paid off. I really took some weight off. Anyway, he ended up back in College Station to finish school at A&M (whoop!) and I was graduating that year. I got more and more comfortable with him and low and behold, that weight started creeping back on. See marshmallow face here:

I got my Aggie ring before he did, but I never dunked it so when he got his, we did it together. Man alive, I had really gained weight here:

Yikes. That was my story y'all. Lose weight, get comfortable, gain weight, take a photo, see the photo, get depressed, lose weight, start all over again. It was miserable. I was miserable. Things progressed and eventually he popped that magical question. We were at my childhood home and he asked me to marry him right there in the driveway. He gets so mad when I tell that story because he really wanted to play some extravagant proposal, but I knew he had the ring...what was I supposed to do?! I HAD to have it that night!!! So I irritated him enough in the car that he threw it in park, told me to get out, and asked me to be his wife. Was it a little forced? Possibly. Was it perfect? Absolutely. I ran inside to tell my dad (who Ray had gotten permission from that day) and we celebrated. We went to a party that night and someone took our picture:

That back fat! Yuck. Okay, I know I'm being overly critical...but still. Yuck. So, low and behold, I got it in gear and worked hard. By the time our engagement pictures rolled around I felt a little better. Here's one:

When it was time for our wedding I wasn't too happy with myself, but felt beautiful. You know, the dress, the makeup, the flowers, the love, etc. 

It wasn't until after our wedding that I knew I needed to change for good. I knew I wanted children and that I had to get healthy before I could even think about getting pregnant. It's been a long and challenging road and it kills me a little to say this, but I don't think it will ever be over. I've proven to myself that I can't have a temporary fix. It doesn't make those insecure feelings go away because I know how easily I am able to let myself go. I know I need to lose about 15 pounds right now. My goal is do this before I get pregnant. I want to get pregnant this summer-pending husband's agreement-so I need to kick it into high gear! Here we are celebrating our one year anniversary on a fishing trip:

We will be celebrating our 2 year anniversary in June this year. I have yet to get to the point of this blog post...sorry, I just realized that. Oops. I just took you through our whole love story almost! Lucky you! My point is basically that my husband has been the most supportive person in my life. Since the moment we met he has NEVER once made me feel self-conscious. Every single time I've asked him "do I look fat?", when I knew for certain that I was, he always not only said no, but told me I was beautiful. Every diet, every success, every failure, every high and every low, he was there for me in the most amazing, supportive way. He will never know how much I love him for his continued support. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. We are not a perfect couple, but we are perfect for each other. 

One last picture for y'all...this was me and Ray at a wedding in November last year. It is my goal weight/outfit. I've gained a little since then and can still wear the dress, but it doesn't fit perfectly like it did in this photo. About 15 pounds. I can do it.